You’re everything I’ve always wanted and more.
Baby Rue!!! <3 She makes my heart melt.
You have no fucking idea how scared I am to take the next big step in our relationship.
THATS why I have been a fucking mental case.
So on Sunday Andrew told me about how he plans on us moving in together soon, and getting engaged shortly after that. Now it’s all we talk about. It’s really weird, comforting and amazing to realize that he just might be the one I spend the rest of my life with.
I want that more than anything.
The next 5 months are going to be a roller coaster.
This weekend was exactly what I needed. A weekend with no work, school, internship. A weekend to spend with you and just relax. Sleeping on a tiny bed and cuddling all night. Waking up in the morning and getting breakfast, watching tv all day in the living room. It gave me a glimpse of what living with you would be like.
And let me just say, that this weekend was exactly what I needed right now. Thank you.
Andrew: “Night love. Thanks for the amazing weekend. I really want to get married <3”
I miss you so much. I miss your voice, and your breath on my neck. I miss your arms around me, and the silly faces you make. I miss your blue eyes and your curly hair. I miss you laugh, god, that laugh. I adore it.
Going three weeks at a time without seeing you is driving me crazy. I don’t want us to miss out on important moments.
I honestly really love you. I look forward to the rest of our time together.
It really bothers me that I won’t be able to spend the summer with Andrew. But this is just another hurdle we will get over.
This is Kobe. Or as I call him, Kobe Baby.
He’s Andrew’s dog. This is by far one of the most loveable big babies in the world. He is huge, definitely one of the biggest dogs I have gotten the pleasure to meet. His favorite toys include a tiny itsy-bitsy tennis ball that squeaks, and anything he can get his paws on and steal away from us. He’s stolen my socks, and pens, and he is a good cuddler. He likes to lay by your feet, and place his paw on top of one of your feet. And the second you pet him, forget it, you’ll be petting him for the next hour. He’s persistent about being pet. He sometimes snores when he sleeps, and I’ve woken him up a few times when he has nightmares. He also likes to wrestle. He likes being outside, especially when there’s snow on the ground, he just rolls around in the snow until he looks like some giant snow monster. Sadly, Kobe will be put down today (Tuesday), and I have never been such a mess. Unfortunately he is very sick, and can barely walk. I know this is my boyfriend’s dog, and I only have known Kobe for 2 years, but I love him like he is my own dog. I love cuddling on the couch with him, even though he’s not supposed to be there. I like how he grunts when you rub his ears. He has the biggest puppy face. And I just wanted to be known that he was an amazing dog. It’s not going to be the same when I go over to Andrew’s house. I won’t have a giant monster run at me and nearly knock me over.
Kobe, I love you so very much.
I’ve never been so glad that someone so amazing came into my life. No matter what mood I am in, Andrew always finds a way to make me smile and laugh. He is one of the sweetest and funniest people I know.
A couple weeks ago I was incredibly upset over god knows what, and he was there hugging me and whispering cute things into my ear, and next thing I know he jumps up and says “Wait! I’ll be right back!” After a few minutes he came back and pulled me upstairs. He made me close my eyes and go into his room, and when I opened my eyes I see that he had a bunch of candles lit.
So corny and cute.
My mom was talking about how if Andrew and I were to have kids, there would be a great chance one of them would be a ginger because I guess we both have that gene.
Can you imagine, a little kid with our frizzy as curly hair. THEN YOU MAKE THAT HAIR RED.
When thinking about what happened yesterday, I just want to cry. I have never felt so horrible about myself, and about the whole situation. I have never felt so helpless, and confused. I have done nothing wrong, yet things were being skewed to make it seem as though I was the villain.
This is real life. There is not just one villain, hero, antagonist, protagonist. We all play each and every single part. We are the one that rises up against all odds, but we are also the person who is sharp with their tongue and can bring someone down in a minute flat. The world is against us, it is also in our favor.
I have never wanted someone to walk a mile in my shoes more than I have now. I just want this person to see how this really is. How unfair and unjust this all is. The situation that occurred can ruin everything that we have been building. It would destroy me if that were to happen. Please find it in your heart, mind, and soul to understand and try to see things from my perspective.
Discussing with Andrew how we are getting married in a library.
I hate watching you leave.